The Right Response to 'Dad, My Tummy Hurts.'

Annabelle wasn't feeling well. Her "tummy hurt a lot."

It was my job, on a recent weekday off from work, to figure out exactly what that meant. I found it incredibly challenging. And I'd love some advice on how to get better at it.

First, the tummy situation.

Annabelle had gone to bed not feeling her best, so we expected she might wake up at less than 100%. We were right. Bridget and Aurora were off at a physical therapy appointment (more on that next Sunday), so it was up to Dad to figure out the next step.

Is she really fine? Do I call the doctor? Do I take her to urgent care? With a 3-year-old, I learned, those questions are really hard to answer.

"Annabelle, do you think we should go to the doctor?"

"Yes," she said.

"Are you sure? The doctor isn't fun, you know. It's not like Daniel Tiger. It's a lot of waiting. Are you sure you have to go?"

"Yes," she said. "My tummy hurts."

"A lot or a little?"

"A lot."

"So on a scale from 1-10," I began, "with 1 being no pain and 10 being so much pain, what would you say you are?"

"Yes."

At this point, I figured the smart thing to do was to at least call the doctor and explain the symptoms. They'd help me. So I called and left a message for a nurse to call us back.

In the hour between my initial call and the nurse's call, as you might guess, Annabelle started to feel a lot better. Her tummy was "fine and didn't hurt much anymore."

"Are you sure? We can go to the doctor and get it checked out," I said.

"No, I'm okay." (That's when we snapped the picture above.)

The nurse called and I smoothly explained the situation:

"So, I think, basically, um, I think we're fine now. I called because my 3-year-old said her stomach hurt a lot and she was having some issues yesterday. She's had some symptoms (sparing stomach-related details here) in the last couple days, but says she really feels much better. I just didn't know if I should bring her in or not bring her in or what ..."

"Okay," the nurse said. "You just want to look out for (stomach-related details) ..."

"Great, thanks," I said. "Hey, listen, I'm not sure if you can help me, but do you have any advice on how to reason with a 3-year-old? She's a really good communicator, but it's not like she can rationally think about whether she should make a trip to the doctor. I feel like I'm flying blind here."

"Yeah, that's tough," she said. "The FACES pain scale is a good tool. Maybe try that."

The nurse was incredibly nice and helpful, as nurses tend to be, and I thanked her for her advice. Now I'm wondering if you have any. Annabelle, aside from pneumonia and a two-day hospital stay a couple years ago, has been a pretty healthy gal. I realize that won't always be the case and I'd like to get better at knowing when to choose option 1, 2, or 3.

Any advice on how to respond to 'Dad, my tummy hurts'?