Our Little Shoplifter

Annabelle keeps a lot of things in her floral backpack. (Kids like to put things into other things, if you didn't know.) She fills her overflowing carrier with necklaces, stuffed animals, fake food from her play kitchen, tubes of ChapStick, original artwork, and crayons.

Oh, and stolen tubes of toothpaste.

We found that last item last Saturday night, as I was searching for a missing flip flop. I didn't think much of it until I went upstairs to talk to Bridget.

"That girl has everything in her backpack," I said. "I just found a tube of toothpaste!"

"Ha. Wait, what kind?," Bridget replied.

"I don't know, a kid one," I said. "Bubblegum princess, I think. You must have bought it for her at some point."

"No, I didn't," she said. "And we were looking at toothpastes yesterday in the drugstore."

Uh oh. Big uh oh.

The next morning, I approached Annabelle, who was busy at work with her backpack. I stooped down to her, looked her in the eyes, and held her hand.

"Honey, when did you get this toothpaste?"

"At the drugstore," Annabelle said. "Yesterday."

"Who paid for it?," I said.

"I paid for it," she said. "I got it for my sister."

I bit my lip. Hard. As you can imagine, the emotions were swirling at that point. She did something wrong because she was trying to do something nice. And at that moment, she knew she did something wrong, which is particularly tough for Annabelle.

"That's so sweet," I said. "But we can't take take things that aren't ours -- from stores or from other people. We're going to have to bring it back."

She stared at me, not really understanding. "Ok ..."

"Don't worry about it, honey," I said. "It's just an honest mistake. We all make mistakes."

So we drove to the drugstore, just down the street. It was early on a Sunday morning, so it was empty. Two women stood chatting behind the front counter. Annabelle and I walked over, hand in hand.

"Hi," I started. "So we got home last night and found this toothpaste in our backpack. We forgot to pay for it, though. We took it for our little sister and we're sorry."

The woman smiled, of course. "Ohhh, it's okay," she said to Annabelle.

"And we'd like to pay for it now," I added, thinking I was in an after-school special.

Annabelle handed the woman $20 and, as she did, I realized how easy it was to make the mistake. Transactions, nowadays, are a swipe of a card or a scan of an app. Why wouldn't she think she could just take it?

We left the store -- Annabelle clutching a bag with the toothpaste inside -- and went out to the car. We talked about feelings for a while and Annabelle said she felt "sad." I told her it was just a mistake and that we all make them sometimes. She said that, next time, she'd ask Mommy and Daddy if she wanted anything at a store.

Will the message stick? Who knows? Kids, especially kids that are 3 and curious, learn dozens of new things every day. This one seemed meaningful, though.

I didn't want to end the experience on a sad note, so we went up the street to the bakery. Annabelle picked out a cupcake -- a chocolate one with a snowman on top -- and paid for it, with a $5 bill.